Jumping Off

There is a moment that exists between an action and a reaction where you know what's coming and you know there is nothing that can be done to prevent it. That moment seems almost static and separate from space and time.  In that limbo, you can *FEEL* life.  Sometimes it's quick and fleeting, like the moment after you jump and you are about to hit the water.  Other times it's longer.  

Today, one of my best friends, Falynn, is welcoming a third little man into their family.  It has me so excited I can barely stand it!  She's at that point where after a long ten months (don't let anyone fool you... it's ten months, not nine!) of cooking this baby, she has to deliver him.  Going into labor is like jumping into the water.  You know what's coming and it's a thrilling mix of anticipation, fear and joy.  There is no turning back.  I know she'll do great.  She's kind of a superwoman!  This comes one day after learning another one of my best friends is having a little girl!  I'm so happy for her and her husband!  What amazing momma's these two babies are going to be blessed with!  I'm on a baby high over here.

It seems there are babies everywhere!  I will admit that a lot of the time, I feel like diving right in there with them and starting in on number three, but a significant amount of my time is spent not wanting to become a baby oven.  When I'm tired with a headache and both kids are yelling, three seems in sane.  When I look over to see them kissing, hugging and snuggling under the blanket, I am ready.  But, taking that step right now, when I go back and forth so much, seems a little scary.  That's one of those things you can't undo!  Once you've made up your mind to give it a go, you can't go back when a few days later you are wondering if it worked and why this seemed like a good idea!  There are some motivating factors involved.  I don't want to be hugely pregnant during the summer months in Texas.  Sweattastic!  It would also be nice to not be breastfeeding a brand new baby during those sweltering summer months.  One more thing I'm taking into consideration is that my sister is getting married next July.  I'd love to have a few months to find my body again before that.  All of that leads us to think that maybe the time is coming.... My ovaries agree.  My sleep-deprived brain has it's hang-ups.

So, I find myself watching everyone around my jump in and feeling a twitch in my toes as I consider joining them.  I suppose I'm already in limbo, then.  So, really, the only difference would be a different kind of limbo.  The kind of limbo where complete strangers look at you like you've grown a second head as you maneuver around with a toddler in a stroller and a baby in a sling pushed off to the side by a giant belly.  That sounds fun!  Right???  That sounds like the kind of limbo where you *FEEL* life.